Daily Fail: Dick Vitale

Charlie Klein

Every time there is a football game on one of the major networks (i.e. CBS or FOX) I always like to flip to ESPN during commercials in order to see what sports America cares the least about. I was unsurprised in what I found. On ESPN was womens college basketball and on ESPN2 it was mens high school basketball. I was really hoping to stumble upon trick shot pool and bass fishing.

As if I needed more of an incentive to not watch womens basketball, which to me is very boring, Dick Vitale was doing colour commentary. I absolutely, without equivocation, despise Dick Vitale. One of the best parts of the NCAA tournament, aside from the obvious, is the fact that Mr. Diaper Dandy is not employed by CBS.

Whether it is his irritating DiGiorno Pizza commercials or his status as the only Rays fan in America, Dick Vitale manages to annoy the crap out of me everywhere he goes. And when ESPN pulls their commentary switch to put Dickie V on an NBA game, I will just mute it.

Have you ever sat and watched a game and wondered why the commentators start yelling when things get exciting? I call it "Dick Vitale Syndrome." Even at my relatively young age (20) I remember a time where I could watch a game and not get yelled at. Now it is everywhere. Tony Siragusa, yet another waste of life on the commentary circuit, is further proof of my theory. Last night he cut into Moose Johnson (it's not like Moose has much of anything interesting to say anyway) multiple times yelling pointless observations like "It's deafening down here!"

So I ask you, sports commentators and networks, please stop employing commentators like Dick Vitale. I'd like to be able to have my hearing when I turn 60.