Dear Mr. Wallace
On behalf of every Celtics fan out there (bandwagoners and die-hards alike) I’d like to officially welcome you to Boston, Massachusetts – home to the most successful NBA basketball team in the history of the sport. You obviously recognize the legitimacy of an upcoming Celtics championship, otherwise you wouldn’t have taken a considerable pay cut from the $13.93 you were making in Detroit to the $5.6 million middle level offer that Danny and the boys offered you to play in Boston. I really hope we get to see one of your famous “verbal attacks on a tiny white NBA referee” routine at the Gahden this season; I don’t care how profane you are, I love watching all the sensitive sports fans around the country reacting to vulgarity and real human emotion when a fine player such as yourself lets it rip. I’m a big fan of the huge dishing you served that pesky reporter after that game 5 loss to the Celtics in round one of the 2007-2008 playoffs. I mean, you really put on an oratory show for the ages there. What diction, what passion. Forget celebrity tweeting, that was much more entertaining. It’s going to be good having you amongst the likes of the chest pounding KG and Paul “the Truth” Pierce. Quite honestly, Rasheed, we need your body in our front court, all 6 feet 11 inches of it. But most importantly, don’t ever lose sight of why you’ve come here, no matter how hard the media scrutinizes you. You’ve come to win a championship, and if you play like you’re able to and the C’s stay healthy, I don’t see how it will be possible to beat the lineup that you’ll be joining. If there’s one thing I would ask (other than bringing home number 18), would you use your veteran age to kick Rondo around a bit? He’s young and I get the feeling that he’s growing cockier by the season. Get on that. Don’t injure him at all, just, you know, put him in his place. And lastly, Rasheed, have fun out there. The past few years you’ve looked rather upset, almost annoyed. I can’t blame you really, but enjoy your time with the Celtics and make the most of it. Right now, somewhere out there Shaq and Lebron are having a sleep-over party and watching Space Jam in a blanket fort and Kobe is sitting across from his Championship Trophy giggling. You’ve got to help beat these guys man, you’ve just got to. Don’t let us down Rasheed, there’s plenty of other power forwards out there that would take pay cuts to be in your current shoes.
Sincerely,
Justin Thrift
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